PEACHES: CONFUCIOUS SAY "IS GOOD FOR LADY TO MEET MAN IN PARK, BUT BETTER FOR MAN TO PARK MEAT IN LADY". PUT THAT IN YOUR STRAW AND SUCK IT, YOU PIZZA EATING CHINGOW PUTA..................
HERB: you peter piper piece of shit. why don't you eat some? fuckin' vigangani. what's up diddo?
PEACHES: WHAT IN THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN DOIN YOU TIRTY TEVEN GHOULS AND GHOST FURBURGER CLUSTER FLYING FINGER FUCK. LONG TIME NO SMELL, DO YOU FORGET ABOUT THE LITTLE PEOPLE. WHEN WILL YOU BE HEADING DOWN TO C.C.? I DIDN'T REALIZE YOU WERE IN DALLAS OR I WOULD HAVED LOOKED YOU UP. I WAS THERE IN THE NOT TOO FAR PAST FOR A WEEK YOU MOON PATROL PLAYIN BISH. KERRI'S LITTLE BROTHER ASKED ABOUT YOU A WHILE BACK. HE HAS A TOYOTA, AND I WORK AT A TOYOTA DEALERSHIP, SO I RUN IN TO HIM SOME TIMES. I TOLD HIM I HAD NOT HEARD FROM YOU IN A WHILE, BUT AS FAR AS I KNEW, YOU WERE STILL A DRIED UP STINKY DICK LICKER FROM WAY BACK. ERIN SURE LOOKS DIFFERANT FROM WHAT I REMEMBER. DOES HE STILL WATCH NICK NICK NI NI NA NICK NICK NICK NICKALODIAN? "OLD TIMES, OLD TIMES" IS YOUR MOM AND SISTER DOIN O.K. ? WELL BEFORE I TYPE TOO MUCH TTYL... SINCERELY, LIZARD BOY
P.S. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ALL ABOUT
HERB: i'm in dallas, been in dallas since i tried to drag your one eyebrow junebug cornhole munchin' ass here. don't give me that shit, i'll clinch up my butt cheeks n'rip yer dick off.
sister's doin' good, works at an irish pub about six blocks from here and gets me good and drunk on a regular basis. i need it because mom is living with me.
yeah. but she's doin' good too.
my son is 12 and here every other weekend and wednesdays. we play video games non-stop and if we had moon patrol he'd kick my ass.
i was out of work for a few years, but have been doing contract graphic design stuff for a few months and just got a fulltime job today. i work again.
i've been playing guitar on and off since you got me started. over the last few years i finally feel like i know what i'm doing. last christmas i bought a yamaha 16 track digital recorder and a good mic, but have only recorded a little.
i've been single and sexless for a... long time, but got laid recently, so i'm pretty sure i'm not gay. that was a close one.
what's it like for you? you've been breeding. how many now? how's jennny, lester and the parents?
PEACHES: THINGS HAVE BEEN PRETTY GOOD FOR ME. TWO KIDS. MY STEPSON GRADUATED HIGHSCHOOL LAST YEAR AND WORKS AT CRACKER BARREL WITH ME WIFE. MY DAUGHTER IS IN FIRST GRADE AND I'M TEACHING HER THE WAYS OF THE FORCE TO SOMEDAY BECOME A JEDI LIKE MYSELF. DO OR DO NOT, THERE IS NO TRY. I'M STILL MARRIED OF COURSE, BUT I CAN RELATE TO THE SEXLESS PART, BUT OF COURSE I AM GAY, AND YOU KNOW YOU ARE TOO. THERE IS NO REASON TO BE IN DENIAL YOU CUM GUZZLIN GUTTER SLUT. REMEMBER WE WERE ONCE IN THE CLOSET, BUT IT WAS SUCKING US IN. JENNY IS FINE AND IS MARRIED IN HOUSTON WITH 3 KIDS. TWO OF THEM ARE ON MY FRIENDS LIST, TIM AND DOUG. LESTER ALSO HAS THREE KIDS HERE IN TOWN. HIS OLDEST GRADUATED TWO YEARS AGO. THAT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE AN OLD FUCKER. OH FUCK ME, WHO AM I KIDDING, I AM AN OLD FUCKER.
MY MOM AND DAD ARE FINE. MY MOM ALWAYS TELLS THE STORY OF HOW SHE BUSTED ME SNEAKING OUT AND YOU WERE FLASHING YOUR HEADLIGHTS AT THE CORNER. MY DAD IS STILL A CRAZY OLD FART, FUNNIER THAN EVER. ANYWAY I'LL YACK AT YA LATER, I GOTTA GO BEAT MY MEAT.
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